Things people say to staff in the Irish Cancer Society shop:
"I'm buying three of these shirts, I should get a discount."
"€1.50 for that? I'll give you €1.20 for it."
(Proceeds to pay with a €50 note.)
"Could you not throw that one in for free? Sure yiz get all your stuff for free anyway."
"30 cent for The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, brilliant."
"I think we have another of her books out in the back, will I get it for you?"
(upon returning) "That's 40 cent for that one, please."
"Oh, it's dearer?"
(To the manager)
"I'm not waiting till Saturday to buy that figurine in the window display, I want it now. I'm calling the head office to make a complaint."
"There's a tiny stone missing from this brooch, can you give it to me for a fiver instead of 7.50?"
"It's 7.50 because there's a stone missing, it's worth at least 40 otherwise."
"I'll give you six for it if you'll wrap it up for me."
What this member of staff thinks about saying to these people every day:
"One in four of you will contract some kind of cancer one day, cuntos, one in four of you."