Wednesday, May 6, 2009

While my Wenger gently weeps

Me: Welcome back, dude. Good year?

Him: Yeah, good.

Me: Where'd you visit, anyway?

Him: Ah, we were in Australia and New Zealand mostly, but also got to Vietnam, Japan, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Fiji...

Me: I went to Rathnew, Co. Wicklow last week.

Him: Yeah, that's like a foreign country too.

Me: Aye....ah, I fucking hate football, it's shit.

Him: Yeah, it is shit, it's always been shit. Most things are shit.

Me: Most things are shit. TV is shit.

Him: Yeah. So what have you been doing while I was gone?

Me: Um...I have a blog now. I like to imagine I didn't do it to fill a gap while you were away.

Him: Poof. Did you miss me?

Me: When it got cold enough.

Him: So, any news with you now?

Me: Not a lot. I might move to Canada.

Him: It's fucking freezing there and there are no visas left.

Me: Yeah, I know, but it's Nova Scotia so they might make an exception. They must be dying for people to live there.

Him: Why does your brother look so much younger after a whole year has passed?

Me: I stole all his weight and facial hair while you were gone.

Him: I was thinking that.

Me: You still hoping to go back to your banking job?

12 comment(s):

Meadow said...

'I stole all his weight and facial hair while you were gone.'

Made me laugh.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Banking job...Ha! The chances!

(god, that didn't sound so cruel in my head).

Novia Scotia is on my wishlist of "to-go" places. You'd get to be all Fargo and shit.

Andrew said...

Meadow - i laughed too. I should really stop laughing at my own jokes.

Sarah - It sounded every bit as cruel as it should have.

Y'know, i've never seen Fargo, not sure why.

Radge said...

Re: Last night - I'm sorry for your woes. Football IS shit.

Lindsey said...

Would you round up your siblings and let's go out for a burger sometime?

Een said...


As always. Made me proper lawl.

She Likes It Loud said...

My French ancestors sneaked onto this continent through Nova Scotia. Apparently there is a film that "hundreds" have seen about how everyone hated them too:

I think you should visit before you exchange your pub friends for Moose sightings. I'm just sayin'.

Andrew said...

Radge - Cheers. The mate I was watching the game with is another of you Scousers, so he felt my pain too.
Mind you, the shot of Cuntley Cole's face after barca scored last night was enough to restore some of my faith in the notion of football football bringing pain to complete bastards as well as good people.

Ben - How the fuck did you end up typing 'Een'? the E key is nowhere close to B. I thought I had a brand new reader for a minute. But thank you. I still aspire to provoking roffles, rather than lawls.

SLIL - perhaps so, but there's no way I could afford a return trip to Nova Scotia just for the sake of a scouting mission. If I go there, it'll be for ten months, possibly coming home at Christmas. But it's still a long way off certain, there's a few things would need to fall into place first.

Jo said...

I didn't really like Fargo.

This is a poignant little conversation. I think it's the Rathnew bit that made me feel sympathetic. And the familiarity. Even the weight and facial hair seems familiar.


B said...

Fargo is flawless

Blazing said...


Bah humbug :(

Voodoolady said...

Go rent/download/buy Fargo right now.