Thursday, December 3, 2009

Chancing my arm, biting my lip

Things people say to staff in the Irish Cancer Society shop:

"I'm buying three of these shirts, I should get a discount."

"€1.50 for that? I'll give you €1.20 for it."
(Proceeds to pay with a €50 note.)

"Could you not throw that one in for free? Sure yiz get all your stuff for free anyway."

"30 cent for The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, brilliant."
"I think we have another of her books out in the back, will I get it for you?"
(upon returning) "That's 40 cent for that one, please."
"Oh, it's dearer?"

(To the manager)
"I'm not waiting till Saturday to buy that figurine in the window display, I want it now. I'm calling the head office to make a complaint."

"There's a tiny stone missing from this brooch, can you give it to me for a fiver instead of 7.50?"
"It's 7.50 because there's a stone missing, it's worth at least 40 otherwise."
"I'll give you six for it if you'll wrap it up for me."

What this member of staff thinks about saying to these people every day:

"One in four of you will contract some kind of cancer one day, cuntos, one in four of you."

11 comment(s):

Cycles Goff said...

Ever listen to Fighting Talk? Last week Perry Groves gleefully recounted how, while on community service for a drunk driving offence, he conned Barnardo's out of cash by lowering the price on a quality table tennis bat and buying it himself.

People are fab, huh?

Kitty Catastrophe said...

Fucking hell, people actually haggle in a charity shop? That's all kinds of wrong, what a horrible shower o'cunts.

B said...

Is it only one-in-four? I should check out a charity shop some day, always presume I'd make myself buy something when I'd walk in and, as bad as giving money to charity is, I'd hate to buy something I don't want, would rather just give them the money.

Radge said...

I just passed by an hour or so ago. I'll be sure and stop in next time, discount permitting.


Andrew said...

Gimme - no, is that a podcast? And is that the ex-Arsenal Perry Groves? What a cheap cunt.

Kitty Cat - Oh, they most certainly do. A lot. And they steal.

B - Most shops have a collection box too, for exactly that kind of reason. If you like reading at all then there's almost always something worth spending a couple of quid on.

Radge - You'd be welcome any time. Just do like some of the customers do: walk in, ask if you can have one of the Roses from the tin on the counter, grab a fistful of them, stuff them in your pocket and walk out.

Twenty Major said...

1 in 3. Odds on you having pointy laughy time increase.

Annie said...

Oy. Vey.

Lindsey said...

One in three. I'm pretty sure I'll be getting cancer as it's on both sides of my side of the family. So I shall spend my days looking at cancer until it learns to behave.

Have a good time in Mayo.

Voodoolady said...

I love the general public.

Our office phone number is one digit off another company's so we often get their calls.

I have had way too many conversations that went

Me: You have the wrong number
Person: No I don't
Me: You do, as I said when I answered this is company A, you are looking for company B, this is not their number.
Person: This IS their number
and SO ON.

I die a little inside every bloody time.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Good to hear charity has not left the country, Andrew, we'd be cursed without your solid support.

Enjoy Maigh Eo!

White Rabbit said...

People are bastards. I didn't think it was socially acceptable to haggle in a charity shop