Monday, February 1, 2010

An Béal Bocht

There's this grey coat I have that I bought in Milan about three years ago. I think it cost me about 240 eurolira - not exactly wildly excessive but way more money than I had ever spent on an item of clothing before. I swaggered around Dublin and various insalubrious parts of county Wicklow with it on, always confident that the coat lent me an air of respectability. I looked like the kind of man you'd be happy to have teach, and possibly even date, your children.

I still wear the coat in winter and, dubious strawberry yoghurt stain notwithstanding, it looks pretty good from the outside. Inside, however, the fancy satin lining is perishing to the point of non-existent and strands of it peek out most unwantedly from my cuffs. And lately I've been seen to meander into McDonald's and fumble for an unfeasible length of time in the inner breast pocket in search of Buy One Get One Free vouchers for sausage and egg McMuffins.

Aside from that, I don't think unemployment has made the slightest bit of difference.

13 comment(s):

Jennikybooky said...

Andrew dear I am using lipstick as blusher and talc as eyeshadow.

Dark times are upon us.

Radge said...

I've started running my own darning business.

Give it here.

Jo said...

I bet a new coat lining costs not a lot. That would be a recessionary act, getting it relined.

And you could chose your hidden flamboyant colour.

Duchess said...

What strange hybrid is a Eurolira?

Andrew said...

Jennie -

Radge - Careful, if the boys over on get wind of this you'll be ruined.

Jo - True. Rosie's mam has offered to do it for me several times. I think I quite like wandering around Dublin like some washed-up, alcoholic writer.

Duchess - It's more just my snide way of laughing at how badly the Italians adjusted to the euro when it came in. In Ireland we were pretty much entirely switched over in about a fortnight, because the euro was not very different in value or denominations to our old currency. There were reports in Italy of people still paying for stuff in lira for up to a year after the deadline was supposed to have passed.

Andrew said...

Shite, i forgot to reply to Jennie. What I wanted to say is that you only really need to start worrying when you're pricking your finger and using the blood as lipstick.

Jo said...

Goodness, I bet Jenni's glad you remembered to reply!

オテモヤン said...


Andrew said...

Jo - Aye, I guess when you really can't think of a droll response to a comment you shouldn't even try. Funny FAIL, as people younger than us are prone to saying.

Squiggly - And SEX to you too. I'm delighted you felt it was worth putting up with word verification to add that to the debate.

Tessa said...

I'm still wondering why Duchess was puzzled by Eurolira and let An Beal Bocht pass without demanding a translation!

Radge said...

Football, ridin' and tailoring. I'm a many headed beast.

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Andrew said...

Tessa - Good question. People rarely ask about my titles, which is a shame as they are are carefully considered things of myriad wonder and endless possibility. People miss all that.
To translate for my non-Irish readers: 'An Béal Bocht' means 'the poor mouth'. It is the title of a novel written in Irish by Flann O'Brien (he of Third Policeman fame) under the name Myles na gCopaleen. It's all about two Irish fellas who complain about everything. I have seen never read it and have seen it as a play performed in English only. Because I can't actually speak Irish, I just like to pretend I can sometimes because my fiancée does.

Radge - Your abilities know no bounds.

Squiggly 2 - Yes, good point.