Shameless method of generating traffic

This young lady is Megan Fox. She is there for no other reason than an experiment. And to keep my pervier readers happy (howaya Darren and Sean!).


Since I have added my Feedjit widget to the lower right hand side of my page I've noticed a lot of traffic coming in through Google image searches, mostly looking for pictures of Nicky Whelan and Natalie Portman, if I'm not very much mistaken. This is not really why I want people to visit my page but i'd like to think that one or two of them do stop and look around a bit. It's also fascinating to be receiving hits from countries such as Saudi Arabia, Netherlands Antilles, South Africa, Japan and Finland, plus somewhere called the UK. This makes me feel very cosmopolitan and like a terribly exciting individual.

So, I'm gonna be away for the next couple of days - in Wexford, where I don't think they have computers. I probably won't check the blog again until Thursday evening and I'll be interested to see how many passers-by this picture will draw in, given that the lovely Megan was the most-Googled image of 2007 and has recently been named as FHM World's Sexiest Woman for 2008.

If you're passing by and have taken the time to read this please click the wee comment button and say something. As long as its reasonably nice. Perhaps tell me what the weather is like in your part of Uzbekistan or what system of government you have in this mysterious 'U.K.' Tell me all about the time you briefly felt attracted to your goldfish, the first time you ever cut your knee really badly, the way you like the breeze ruffling your hair...you get the idea, talk to me people!

Magnificent Munster

What a match on Saturday! Not exactly a display of scintillatingly skillful rugby (finals rarely are), Munster fought tooth and nail every step of the way to gain a superb 16-13 victory over Toulouse (do they ever make it anything less than nerve-shredding for their fans?).

This was a display of sheer doggedness, passion and intelligent use of the ball against the technically-superior French side, who are undoubtedly the better side man-for-man on paper. Happily, these things rarely count for much against Munster. Toulouse looked massively dangerous whenever they got the ball out wide or into the hands of dangermen like Yves Donguy, Yannick Jauzion and Cedric Heymans, but it was to Munster's enormous credit that this wasn't allowed to happen too often. along with the sheer brilliance of every single one of their front eight, Kiwi backs Doug Howlett and Rua Tipoki were superb - making big hits when necessary and almost combining for a superb try, a slightly forward pass by Tipoki meaning that Howlett's scything run didn't get its just deserts.

Ronan O'Gara was his usual self, kicking for the corners with accuracy and nailing the kicks that needed to be nailed - though he did give some cause for alarm when a couple of his clearing kicks were charged down, luckily with no particularly serious repercussions. He wore his usual expressions of concern and annoyance throughout the match, though I did enjoy the momentary look of boredom while he hung around waiting for a drop goal opportunity that never quite materialised as his forwards slightly over-exerted themselves during an incredibly long phase of pick-and-drive. I have to say, nothing pleased me more than to see O'Gara end the season on such a high, after his miserable experiences in the World Cup last September. I had my doubts at the time that he would ever fully bounce back from that, but I'm delighted to say hat he has entirely proven me wrong. Any personal problems he may or may not have are certainly not manifesting themselves on the pitch any more.

So well done Munster, you've made the country proud again, and given a fitting send-off to your wonderful coach Declan Kidney. If Kidney can instil the same sense of pride in the shirt and courage and patience under pressure into the lads form leinster, Connacht and Ulster then happy times are surely ahead for the national team.

New Zealand to come in the autumn, anyone got tickets?

Things I Learnt from Bruce Springsteen

1. Aiken Promotions/ The RDS couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery. All tickets for the concert were printed with a specific colour-coded 'route' on them. The RDS is a big fucking place and yet I saw only one sign outside giving any indication as to which route was which. Most people were having to ask the Guards where they should be going and that isn't really their job. Queues were a shambles, with very few barriers, very few indications of what exactly one was queueing for, and even less of a security presence. Presumably the fact that the place was only half-full at 7.30, when the show was scheduled to start, is the reason why it didn't actually begin until 8.10.

2. Bruce doesn't need a support act. This man rocks so hard and so long that he just warms you up for an hour before really kicking into the show for the next hour and a half.

3. The sight of Bruce straddling his mike stand and hanging backwards off it like a poledancer can do surprising things to an otherwise heterosexual man.

4. The E Street Band contains many of the coolest people on earth. None more so than Clarence.

5. Bruce is 58. I will have a heart attack within 3 minutes if I try to do what he does when I am 58. I would have one within 7 minutes if I tried to do it now.

Mystical adventures of May 21st

Verily last night our heroes didst set forth upon a night of revelry that didst lead them to many emporiums of devilry, whereupon comely bar-wenches and strapping bar-blokes didst say unto them "Come hither, my child, and I shall fill your goblet with a delicious liquid of many hues of black and white, all for the modest sum of four and a half of your shekels."

And lo! The liquid was indeed most delicious, and it filled our heroes with the sensation of being cleverer and funnier than perhaps was strictly true. And it emerged that the liquid made the torturous sight of the writhing snake-man-beast of Western Iberia lifting a rather large and supposedly significant silver jar somewhat less torturous.

Our heroes didst trek from cave to cave, in search of the cave where they come drink longest and most deeply from the magical fountain of Arthur. Sometimes the ogres guarding the cave had to be slain in order to gain entry. Not with sword and shield, but with kind words, eye contact and a smile.

Nay, tragically, upon the witching hour our heroes were granted access to the fountain of Arthur no longer, and were cast forcefully from the cave by said ogres with the curious cry of "Have yiz no homes to go to?" Whereupon long and bewildering conversations didst occur with an ancient scribe from an 'independent' periodical whose name escapes us right now. Then our hero bravely ventured forth in a chariot steered by a Moorish fellow, reluctant to engage in witty dialogue with his passneger, but more than willing to take from him the princely sum of 16 shekels. "Fare thee well young charioteer!" our hero cried as he tarried forth into the night, having been dropped at his place of residence.

Which he entered and proceeded to log onto his blog and post a picture of a nubile young Australian soap star and type complete gibberish. He knew the fact that he could barely see the keys would lead to many a speeling mistake but he did not care.

Don't drink and blog kids!

Where I've been

My apologies for being shockingly lazy about posting recently. To be quite honest, what happened was that Natalie Portman was so pleased about my favourable mention of her in my 'Modern Heroes' piece the other day that she called me up and we've been sitting in a bath feeding strawberries to each other ever since. Beats working, I guess. There she is above, drying off, poor lass.

I'll be embarking to a public house this evening with a good boozehound buddy of mine to sink many a Guinness in order to be able to endure the scenario of either Cristiano Ronaldo and Wes Brown or Cashley Cole and John Terry lifting the Champions' League trophy.

Actually, pints of whiskey might be more in order.

I'll no doubt return in a less than sober state, and may decide I want to do some rambling then.

If young Natalie could just stop checking her Facebook page.

R.I.P. Ian Curtis

I couldn't really let today pass without mentioning that it is the 28th anniversary of the death of Ian Curtis of Joy Division. I'm no afficionado of their music but I do appreciate the brilliance of many of their songs, the influence they have had on so many bands since, and the tragedy of so much talent passing from us at such a young age. I was going to attach a video of their most famous song 'Love Will Tear Us Apart', but my lack of blogging nous has let me down again.

Its probably in your head already.

One week in

So, one week in and I feel like I've been in the blogging game for a while. It all started last Saturday night/ Sunday morning during one of my frequent late night internet perusals. I wondered if setting up a blog and getting going on it was as easy as it sounded so I tried to access Wordpress, failed to connect to it for some reason, then set up a page on Blogspot instead. You snooze you lose, Wordpress. It was every bit as easy to to set up as I thought it would be, but actually writing something proved to be less so. When confronted with a blank screen I became encumbered with blogger's block, or 'blogstipation' as Lottie rather brilliantly referred to it in her first post http://www.lizlyons.ie/?p=3

I decided to write very little, published it, put a couple of links in the comments on Darren's page and went to bed.

Now, one week later, I've received some terrific support from my real-life buddies Darren and Liz, been visited and commented on by some very influential bloggers whose work I really admire, had some other relative newbies pop by with encouraging comments, and been fluffily linked to by the Big Daddy of Irish Blogging himself http://www.mulley.net/2008/05/15/fluffy-links-thursday-may-15th-2008/

Which is all incredibly gratifying, especially given the fact that I think my blog has so far been lacking in the wit, sharpness and clarity that I would hope to bring to it. This is partly due to the time constraints of work, social life etc, but also down to the fact that I am a traditionalist when it comes to expressing myself and composing my thoughts. So this post is being written first on an A4 sheet, with a nice pen, lying on my bed with a bag of Haribo Goldbears. And its fucking great!
I think a continuation of this approach may bring about an approved standard of post. Though if I have to work my way through 175g of feckin' tasty little bears every time I post my health may not see such an improved standard.

I also want to address something that may have been glaringly obvious in its absence: pictures. As it stands, all my posts have been prepared fairly quickly and I haven't had the time or inclination to be adding pictures to them. I also don't think it would have added a huge amount to any of my posts so far. But, above all else, I'm not really certain how you do it. I really ought to go round to Darren sometime. I'll bring cake. And Goldbears.

Update: I've just figured out how to do it, it really wasn't that tough. I'm still gonna vist Darren with cake and Goldbears, though. If he'll lift the restraining order.

Anyway, I've enjoyed my first week immensely - especially the way I now look at every little thing I come across and think "Hmmm...I could write about that." So thank you very much to everyone who's given me support, or taken the time to read the blog and comment. To anyone who's been visiting and has yet to comment, please feel free to do so - it makes my day. Darragh has a brilliantly comprehensive piece about how to do so at http://darraghdoyle.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-to-comment-on-blog-beginners-guide.html so there's really no excuse not to. If there's nothing in particular you want to say, just write "Hi, you muppet."

I'll know you mean well.