Thursday, October 2, 2008

Ndugu wangu

I shouldn't have been welling up as I drove home this evening.

I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on the wrong target in the wrong place.

A 12 year-old shouldn't spray deodorant on one specific spot on his arm until it burns his skin.

I shouldn't find him in bed, emptying the remaining contents of that deodorant into his nose.

He shouldn't have to listen to everything he says in his perfect English repeated back to him in shoddy impressions of his accent.

He shouldn't be called a thieving nigger.

He shouldn't have to talk about his deceased mother in the present tense because he thinks we don't know.

He shouldn't have to stand, propped up by a water fountain and unable to smile, and lie when I ask him how his day was, unable to hug him.

He should have something a little more familiar than my faltering questions in Swahili, and my blank looks when he moves past glib answers, desperate to tell me things he doesn't want the other boys to understand.

He shouldn't be in a boarding school, faux-friendly and freezing, 6000 miles from his father.

9 comment(s):

Darragh said...

Wow Andrew. What a thing to have to deal with.

Darren said...

Oh Jesus Andrew, I hate this shit. It's so unfair what some people are force to go through. It's just further evidence that there is no true justice in the world.

You've upset me and angered me and I thank you for it. Look after him, won't you?

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

My heart goes out to him.I've experienced boarding school and hated it,but i didn't have to contend with being sent to one thousands of miles from home, with the death of a parent or with ignorant people and their racism.

Is there any way of taking him out for an hour or two for a coffee or something?Just to get away from prying ears and that if he wanted to talk then he would be free to do so?

whoopsadaisy said...

The poor little guy, he must be so scared and lonely :(
At least he has a friend and a listening ear in you Andrew, even if you don't understand all that he tries to tell you-he trusts you enough to tell you and that's a good thing.

Hope today is better for you and for him :)

Andrew said...

Ah guys, I only made it all up in the hope I might win Blog Post of the month.

Seriously though, thanks for your comments.

Darren - I'm going to do my best. i only realised yesterday how bad things really are. The poor lad has been cast by some as the villain rather than the victim because of the way he's lashed out. But not any more.

Mar - Yeah, I'm hoping to do something like that.

Whoopsadaisy - Cheers, it's been better for me so far but I haven't caught up with the little dude yet. He's tough, though.

Darragh said...

*retracts nomination. Scowls at Andrew*

That's really all I can say Andrew. It'll have to do.

Lottie said...

" Ah guys, I only made it all up in the hope I might win Blog Post of the month."

I couldn't comment earlier cos it made me too sad (You see I can't comment on sad things). So I will chose to believe that you are just an evil bastard and that you made it up but I hope that your fictional character finds a supportive shoulder and a friend to stand by him.

B said...

well that's pretty bloody depressing.

...which is why I'll be nominating "Ah guys, I only made it all up in the hope I might win Blog Post of the month." as blog comment of the month.

C'est La Craic said...

Don't know if the lump in the throat is due anger or tristesse. Very touching