Saturday, January 31, 2009

i am trying to break your heart

I stand in front of the sliding door for a good twenty seconds before I realise that it is, in fact, not a sliding door at all, but one with handles that I must handle. I'm in Londis, fuck knows where in the wilds of Wexford, with a few messages to get, reeling with the throb that that comes only when the tiny goblins in my head choose to make sexytime with my frontal lobes.

I place my items down on the counter: breakfast rolls, my own personal Jesus of ham and tuna in a demi-baguette, cream doughnuts, Lucozade Sport, Wispas and Tramil. "You'll do it all again tonight, y'know?," grins the lady as she scans away.

She is mistaken.

I stand in front of the sliding door for a good twenty seconds before I realise that it is, in fact, not a sliding door at all.

13 comment(s):

jothemama said...

Nice door image :)

Hope you're feeling better.

red said...

not much of a relation at all, but on account of your title i now have eels 'I'm going to stop pretending that I didn't break your heart' in my head and it is probably the most beautifullly sad song in the world. you should check it out if you don't know it- but not while you're feeling hungover or vunerable.

Darragh said...

I've done the same thing without the roll or the tramil and in houses where I know there's no sliding door at all.

And I've been sober.

gimme a minute said...

Ham and tuna?

Personally, I have to say, Jesus.

Andrew said...

Jo - I am. I didn't quite do it all again last night, but there were White Russians. And Scrabble.

Red - I love Eels but I don't know that one. the line is actually from a Wilco song, off Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I think that might actually be the title of the song, I can't remember at this point.

Darragh - Omitting to mention the cream doughnuts on your part has reminded me that I left one in my car. Thanks.

Gimme - I've disturbed many a deli counter worker with that combination, believe me. But it is only fucking glorious.

Darren said...

I don't drink and therefore would never find myself in that sitution......no, hang on, that's not entirely accurate.

Radge said...

Great post, great song. My favourite song title of all time too, used it one of my own posts back in the day.

the dublinista said...

Ham and tuna? Fucking hell that sounds rotten.

sinfulorigamipaper said...

People need to stop talking about white russians. I'm getting thirsty.

B said...

WILCO! WILCO! WILCO!

...nothing else

Andrew said...

About the ham and tuna, I can only say that one must never knock something one has never tried.
I was hoping to start breeding them on a farm to create a kind of supermeat, but they tell me pigs and tuna fish just don't have the hots for each other. Disappointing.

B, I listened to NMH's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea on the way to Wexford for the first time, you'd have been proud of me.
i've lost my CD of yankee hotel, no idea why that song was so insistently stuck in my head. Because it's fucking deadly, i suppose.

private said...

Man, I missed that ham and tuna thing when I read the post... that sounds pure awful. I can only imagine the reaction of anyone at a deli counter when you order that... reminds me of the first time someone in France ordered a beer with mint syrup in it off me. I must have checked about ten times that he really meant it.

B said...

Once you still have Kicking Television it's okay