Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Aisha, we've only just met and I think you ought to know...I'm a murderer

What with there being nothing sad at all about sitting around the flat on your own watching the Eurovision semi-finals I am doing precisely that. Perhaps only for a few minutes longer though, as I'm starting to hate my ears, and the ironic appeal of all that kitsch has a limited lifespan before it just makes you start to despair.
Still, if there's one thing I dearly love it's a good and proper mangling being handed out to the English language, Engrish style.

And bless me if Latvia's entry, a mildly discordant, comely young lass in a dressing gown who goes by the name of Aisha, hasn't obliged me nicely. What for? Only Mr. God knows why. My favourite bits are in bold.



I’ve ask my angels why
But they don’t know
What for do mothers cry and rivers flow?
Why are the skies so blue, and mountains high?
What for is your love, always passing by?
I’ve asked my uncle Joe
But he can’t speak
Why does the wind still blows and blood still leaks?

So many questions now with no reply
What for do people live until they die?
What for are we living?
What for are we crying?
What for are we dying?
Only Mr God knows why
What for are we living?
What for are we dreaming?
What for are we losing?
Only Mr God knows why
But his phone today is out of range
The sun in colour black is rising high
The time is turning back, I wonder why
So many questions now with no reply
What for do people live until they die?
What for are we living?
What for are we crying?
What for are we dying?
Only Mr God knows why
What for are we living?
What for are we dreaming?
What for are we losing?
Only Mr God knows why
What for are we living?
What for are we crying?
What for are we dying?
Only Mr God knows why
What for are we living?
What for are we dreaming?
What for are we losing?
Only Mr God knows why.

Thank you, Aisha, thank you for the words.

17 comment(s):

Tessa said...

Please tell me this one didn't make it into the finals ... Come back, Abba! All is forgiven! (Yes, I did actually see that Eurovision songfest, and laughed my ass off because they were so awful. Hell, what did I know? I preferred the Beatles to the Rolling Stones.)

Radge said...

.........

.........

.........

.....why?

Kitty Cat said...

Call Mr God,
That's my name,
That name again is Mr God

I'm a teeny bit drunk of a tuesday.

Conan Drumm said...

I think they got Dana's 'All Kinds of Everything' and used one of those interwebbery translators to change it into Latvian, then they used another interwebbery translator to change it back into English.


ps I spotted "Andrew once rote a luvly pome about a kocker spanyul" and I demand publication of yer juvenalia, stat!

Jo said...

I think it's GREAT.

She's right, of course. What for, Andrew? What FOR??

emordino said...

"I’ve asked my uncle Joe
But he can’t speak"

Textbook error. Though surely he has some other means of communication.

Au Lapin Blanc said...

And I thought 'Fairytale' was my favourite Eurovision entry of all time.

Sweet Giblets that is amazing.

Therese Cox said...

Ah, the old "Uncle Joe says no, so I'll ask Mr God" trick. Clever, that Aisha.

Radge said...

My earlier comment was me being drunk, just seeing the words Eurovision and mangling.

Now that I've listened to it sober, sign me up. She's like the thinking man's TaTu.

Andrew said...

Oh bless all your lovely hearts for making me feel like live-blogging a Eurovision semi-final that ireland aren't even in is a worthwhile pursuit. May Mister God shine handsome face on your good for makes Andrew yes.

Conan, tragically that achievements bit is not always entirely based on real events. And yes, if Google translator isn't responsible for this then some tit in Latvia should be having his credentials thoroughly after such a public exposition of his shoddy workmanship.

Most pertinently, I still haven't figured out whether the issue she broached with Uncle Joe is the morality of warfare or the continuing existence of menstruation.

Voodoolady said...

I'm not sure what the cool protocol ishere but I really wanted to insert an lol as my comment

maybe even a roflmao.

Andrew said...

The cool protocol? To be quite honest, people have lost limbs for less than a LOL.

But the sentiment is noted.

Jo said...

Having his credentials throughly what???

Andrew said...

Oops, I meant to say "should be having his credentials thoroughly examined".

Jo said...

Ah. See, you could have meant, nailed to the floor... :)

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Demure Lemur said...

I don't think it's very likely that Aisha even has an Uncle Joe. Perhaps Uncle Joe is the name of one of her teddies. This would go some way to explaining why he can't speak.