Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Normalcy







Notice anything wrong with these posters for films released in Ireland in the last year?

Stop being thick.

'All Right' and Traveler'. A superfluous L and gap and a missing L. Without wishing to go overboard, this blogger is firmly of the opinion that once we start welcoming weird American spellings into our world we might as well, oh, I don't know, salute the stars and stripes and snort Sunny Delight and suchlike. It's a slide that began when we accepted 'cool' as meaning anything other than 'pleasantly cold', took 'awesome' to mean 'quite agreeable' and used 'totally' to mean 'I fully agree'. It will soon reach its nadir when we begin using 'sick' as a positive adjective.

We can, it's fair to say, blame the youth on such tendencies? But now they're smearing it all over our film posters like H-Block protesters. Mark my words, good people, this may very well be the beginning of the end, if the end didn't already begin on the day my mother deemed it appropriate to use the word 'guesstimate' in my presence.
Of course, one might suggest that I am indulging in such pedantry and curmudgeonliness out of an anxiety caused by my impending unemployment leading me to be slightly more on edge than usual. Well, you can all fuck off back to Texas too. It's ignoring the likes of this that led to the rise of Genghis Khan and Idi Amin and those lads, and I'm registering my displeasure at this growing tendency before Uncle Sam has wiped his "butt" with us entirely.

9 comment(s):

Janelle said...

Totally agree with you. I'm tyrannical about it too. Another smart piece of writing. Hongera. x j

Au Lapin Blanc said...

Unless they mean that the kids are all individually correct in this particular circumstance.

That's not likely.

Boo to them I say. Bricks through their windows. Cars set alight. Rotting fruit in their faces. Make them walk, tarred and feathered, wearing accusing placards on their bodies through rough streets whilst people jeer at them.

You can tell I am from West Belfast when I suggest punishments...

emordino said...

Hwuh? There's nothing intrinsically American about "all right". In fact, your famous pedants - your Fowlers and whatnot - consider it to be the only acceptable form, with "alright" (dating from 1893, fact fans) being a terribly gauche derivation. I certainly wouldn't use it, I tell you that much.

I would further speculate that you would have no problem with e.g. Hiberno-Englishisms being publicly displayed in America to advertise an Irish film, which if this projection is accurate kind of renders your whole argument void.

(PS: you may note I said "publicly" rather than "publically"... derived forms aren't always bad, it turns out.)

(PPS: LANGUAGE BOMB)

Rosie said...

i miss science bombs. they were far less contentious.

Andrew said...

Janelle - Asante. Though, presumably, you use American spellings?

ALB - Have knee-cappings fallen out of fashion?

Emordino - Bowl of Humour-Os (or 'Humor-Os', if you wish) for you tomorrow morning, my friend. I would've thought I'd been self-effacing enough to show that I don't really feel this stuff is really of any great significance, I just don't like it.

Now, picture the scene: It's the Sundance Festival, 2014, and Andrew Chancingmyarm's new self-financed opus 'The Coloured Traveller' has received rave reviews from the critics. A well-known Hollywood bigwig approaches him.

Harvey Weinstein: Hey Andrew, that film blew my fuckin' mind, man!
Andrew: Thank you, Harvey Weinstein.
HW: I'd love to get distribution rights for my company. There's just a couple of details we'd need to change. Such as making sure my name is plastered all over the opening credits as Executive Producer. Even though I didn't, y'know, produce anything.
A: All in the game, I guess. Anything else?
HW: The title will need a little tweaking, or people will think it's spelt wrongly. do you mind if we adjust it to 'The Colored Traveler'?
A: No, changing the spelling slightly to adapt to what is normal for a certain audience doesn't bother me. You might call it respectful, even.
HW: Super. Have you any new projects in the pipeline?
A: Yeah, an adaptation of Brendan Behan's 'The Quare Fellow'.
HW: Awesome, we might be interested in that, too. But would you mind if we changed the title to 'The Unusual Man'?
A: Yes, yes, I would.

Radge said...

How I relish it when people write perfectly good blog entries within the comments section.

Also, I have trouble picturing Harvey Weinstein. I always think of him as his spittling Entourage equivalent, Harvey Somethingelse.

Andrew said...

Thanks, Radge. I reckon the only decent reason to have a comments section at all is to allow the blooger the opportunity to clarify or expand on something when they need to.
I haven't watched Entourage in a couple of years. Not sure why, exactly. Is Harvey Somethingelse the evil motherfucker played by malcolm McDowell?

Radge said...

Nah, that's Terence, a gloriously devious bastard.

Harvey is Harvey Weingard, played by a man called Maury Chaykin offof 'Dances With Wolves.'

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001999/

Radge said...

Better again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtyPM5rQnk0&feature=related