Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Why send me silly notes?

I've read one or two posts recently where people try and get to grips with the merits of Twitter. This one by narocroc pretty much expresses the same thoughts I have on the matter. I don't 'tweet', but if I did:

The mundane:

"Just heading to Tesco to buy some sliced pan"

Needy requests for advice:

"do I get smooth or crunchy peanut butter? help me fellow twitterers!!!"

"i'm thinking of going to morocco for my next holiday but my cousin says it's full of Arabs. Is this true?"

Too much information:

"There's corn in my turds again but I haven't eaten any for, like, a week now"

" I don't think any cream is going to get rid of this boil on my bum"

The cloyingly cheerful:

"OMG its not raining today!"

The mundane and cloyingly cheerful:

"Gerald Fleming says it's gonna hit minus 3 tomorrow. Woolly gloves for me then!!!"

The ill-advised honesty on a public forum:

"called in sick today and my tit of a boss totally bought it. another day of wanking for me..."

"ha, i'm totally plagiarising my way through this postgrad."

The drunk:

"i LOVe buRgerking cheeSBRGrs!%6"

The stating the bleeding obvious:

"New York is so much bigger than Wicklow"

The creepy:

"I just love women's arses"

"If the girl opposite me in the library would just bend over and tie her shoe I could totally see down her top."

The stalkeresque:

"This is the fifth shoe shop i've followed her into, doesn't the bitch need any bras today?"

15 comment(s):

Darragh said...

I find it hard to believe you're not on twitter already Andrew. You're already a natural! ;)

Sarah Gostrangely said...

LOL Andrew.

Except the ill-advised honesty in a public forum one. That's where Blogging resides for me.

Rash? Yes, yes I do.

Annie said...

Ha, I was thinking to myself, god, what kind of a person would write this stuff?

Then I realised it was you.

Andrew said...

Darragh - um...thanks? My fear is that most of the tweets I'd see would belong in the first category. And life is just too short for that.

Sarah - You wouldn't believe the shit i just about rein myself in from saying some days. We'll discuss rashes and boils over pints tomorrw, it'll be great.

Annie yeah, that's about the height of it. Any incongruous corn in your droppings lately? Or do award winners lose the need to defecate? That'd be great.

Andrew said...

Itching & Fishy Smell? - - It's Probably Bacterial Vaginosis Here's How To Tell & What To Do

Sarah, the above ad popped up in my gmail inbox, presumably on account of your comment mentioning rashes. Might be of interest to you. It's a snappy URL at the very least.

Rosie said...

You wouldn't believe the shit i just about rein myself in from saying some days.

oh? do tell.

Uncle Dick Madeley said...

I was all convinced that I'd written something hilarious about Twitter and then you go and put this up. Damn you, Andrew, damn you to hell!

Andrew said...

Rosie - No. it mostly concerns the sharing of underpants, and we said we'd keep that private.

Uncle Dick - You are a kind and lovely man.

Lindsey said...

I like Twitter. I like the idea of being pithy and concise. It pleases me. I twitter more often than I blog, that's for sure.

Jo said...

Despite John's messianic endorsement of it, I still don't get it.

Andrew said...

Linds - ah, that's what you're doing with your time. Ghey.

Jo - you're married to the messiah?
I don't get it either, it seems like a way of putting your text messages up there for public consumption.

Darren said...

lmao - Brilliant! I have pretty much decided over the last couple of days that I hate Twitter. Not that I just have no interest in it - I actually hate it. I am having an emotional response to a web resource, that's how bad it is.

Andrew said...

I'll take that as a stark warning to never even bother dabbling in it, then.
My feelings towards it may have been coloured somewhat by Mulley's militia and the vile way they choose to talk about people who see things differently to them, but this post wasn't about hating Twitter, just poking fun at its silliness.

Jo said...

Er, no, I meant macawilliams,twitter-messiah.

My husband wouldn't know a twitter if it pecked him on the ass. And his name isn't John.

He is a guitar god though, if
that's any good to you.

She Likes It Loud said...

I have it but don't use it really. I nearly wrote a blog about how I hate the people that go on about it though. "I now twitt and it feels great", like it's Kabbalah or some shit.

Maybe Twitts can wear some string on their wrists made of pretentiousness.