Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"You can read minds?"

During my irregular weekly visit home yesterday my mother noticed my half-finished dinner and sat down to have a chat with me, gently probing as to whether I'm upset about anything. Even, perhaps, trying to ascertain whether her 15 stone son might somehow be masking an eating disorder of some kind.

I had to carefully explain to her my occasional practice of what I like to call 'second lunch', which had yesterday included five slices of Vienna roll and a ready-made pancake. There may be things wrong, here and there, but her little boy's appetite is going nowhere. I had a Snickers later, too.

5 comment(s):

Anonymous said...

I had to look up Vienna roll. Not as delicious-looking as I expected, but I did learn that they're also known as Kaiser rolls.

MJ said...

I dislike snickers. Chocolate and hazelnuts, yes. Chocolate and peanuts, thank you no. Chocolate and most things, yes. If that was all the chocolate that was available, I would put up with the peanuts.

Can you tell what I've given up for lent yet?

Andrew said...

Eli - I had no idea they were so obscure that anyone would need to google them. It's just bread, really. Any Supervalu would have it. you could try wrecking their heads by asking staff members where you'd find the Kaiser rolls. If they're worth their salt at all they'll probably give you a token few minutes of their time (mostly around the cake aisle, I'd imagine, unless you expand on your request at all). Once they've given up and apologetically returned to their post you must then find said rolls and wave them in their face, angrily accusing them of incompetence and asking why no-one venerates Der Kaiser any more.

I'll try it on a wet Thursday sometime.

MJ - You gave up the choccy? Christ, girl, take it from someone with a theology degree: our Lord himself did not wish for us to suffer that much. He only wants us to give up Balistos and Nutrigrains and kicking pigeons. Stuff like that.

morgor said...

15 eh? you trump me by 1.

I have just bought a bench press though so i expect to look like hulk hogan within a matter of days.

Andrew said...

I think I'm a bit taller than you, aren't I? Height is heavier than fat, y'know.