Monday, September 1, 2008

Anyone for a yacht?

Sometimes things just come along at the most opportune moments. I'm back in college this year, and will have limited opportunities to make any real cash as I go along. I'll be OK, but money is definitely a bit of a concern.



So you can imagine my delight when I opened my email a few minutes ago and found this:





From Mrs Rebecca Williams
N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire

ATTN:DEAREST ONE OF GOD
I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr Benson Williams, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don抰 have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don抰 want my husband抯 efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don抰 want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don抰 need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband抯 relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information抯, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord. Yours in Christ, Mrs Rebecca Williams.



What a nice lady! Of course, I'm actually keeping the money for myself and not giving a penny of it to any church. But she doesn't need to know that...

I just have to email back with my bank details, etc and that juicy $2.5 million will come rolling in. That's over €1.5 million, y'know. Certainly puts an end to my worries for now. I've always had a soft spot for those Ivorians, the suckers.

3 comment(s):

bowerbird said...

I got this email too! Made me chuckle, have you read The Yes Man by Danny Wallace? Simple premise, say yes to everything, including emails like this, it's a true story and very funny.

Thanks for your comments on my blog, enormity is a new gripe for me, but I will definitely look out for it from now on!

Seanboy said...

Beat ye andy,
I won 25 million euro on the spainish lottery (despite never buying a ticket) according to the chappie who emailled me today, all I have to do is sent him my bank account details and its happy days.

Andrew said...

Bowerbird - well you've got another think coming if you think I'm sharing that money with you!
I know about Danny Wallace alright, but haven't read him. a blogger buddy recommended him to me recently so I must try him out.

Seano - looks like the yachts are on you then next time we're out. And we'll both be drinking Guinness out of diamond goblets from now on.
You should still have enough to buy up that sorry mess of Geordies you support with the change.