Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The worst job in Ireland...

...is working the late shift in any 24 hour petrol station. I tell you, only the freaks, the gurriers and me need to buy their petrol late at night. Except apparently most people are there because they are stoned beyond belief. So now poor old Kurawski (who's rapidly starting to wonder why he followed his brother's advice and gave up dental studies in Krakow to chase the mighty Euro in Ireland) has to wander all over the shop tracking down the myriad goodies one requires after a little too much Colombian on a Wednesday night.

"Yeah 3 strawberry Yops...no, not the fuckin' strawberry and vanilla ya muppet. Yeah and Doritos. Did I say I wanted the orange ones, did I? The fuckin' blue ones, Jesus! And a bag of Meanies...they're crisps, man, crisps. No, that's not everythin', I told ya I wanted a blackcurrant Lucozade Spor', you shoulda got that when you were after being at the fridge before. Yeah, and fuckin' blue Rizlas man, the red ones are shite. Fuck's sake chap, it's not difficult. No, I didn't get any petrol, do I look like I fuckin' drive? Ah, did ya not get the chocolate milk when you were back over at the fridge? Fuck's sake man, youse need to go back to Romania."

5 comment(s):

Darragh said...

You sound like you have personal experience Andrew! I know your penchant for the ould strawberry yop...

Anthony said...

Strawberry and vanilla yop != Stawberry yop.

Seanboy said...

Not to mention late night visits by axe wielding scumbags

Andrew said...

Darragh- I do love an old strawberry Yop alright. I've never quite understood why it's the tipple of choice for stoners though.

Anto - strawberry yop is not the same as strawberry and vanilla yop, they're two entirely different beasts.

Seano - Are you still doing that? it violates your probation terms, y'know.

B said...

All I can ever think of when people mention filling stations is that Lenny Henry sketch where someone orders a loaf of bread from the window and they can't fit it through so they put each slice through one by one.